×

How do you tell someone she stinks?

Dear Annie: I have a very sensitive office environment problem. My office mate smells, and the smell permeates the entire office and even gets stuck to my clothes. And I’m not the only one who can smell it. Other co-workers have noticed it, too. I think it’s a matter of not changing clothes enough or not bathing well or often enough. She is such a nice lady that I really can’t mention it to her. It would hurt her feelings. Because our office has only five employees in it (we’re out in the boondocks), we have very limited office space. So there’s no possibility of moving desks and putting more space between her and the rest of us. And no air freshener or scent diffuser we’ve tried works. What can be done? Again, she’s very nice and friendly, and I don’t want to hurt her. — Stinky Outside Seattle

Dear Stinky Outside Seattle: This is the sort of delicate personnel matter best handled by the human resources department. Talk to whoever is in charge of HR for your company, even if that person isn’t located in the same office.

If you don’t have an HR department, then try talking to your co-worker yourself. At the end of the day, ask your co-worker whether she has a minute before she leaves. Go into a private space, and say something to the effect of: “It may just be my sensitive nose, but I’ve noticed there’s sometimes a strong smell near your desk. I just wanted to make you aware of the issue, because I hope you would do the same for me.” It’s going to be awkward no matter which way you slice it. But telling her is a noble act. You’re bearing a minute of discomfort to spare her further embarrassment and your co-workers further unpleasantness. Do be sure to have this talk at the end of the day, as telling her earlier, when she can’t do anything about it, would be cruel.

Also, as this is the second letter I’ve received this month about a co-worker’s olfactory offenses, a public service announcement: To anyone thinking of skipping that pre-work shower, please don’t.

Dear Annie: I’m just a normal adult who is sick and tired of hearing the F-word out in public. Why is this word permitted at public events, at the shopping mall and in movie theaters? When my grandchildren were very young, we had this happen at a baseball game. The person behind us repeated the word many times, until finally my husband politely asked the person to stop. Luckily for us, he wasn’t attacked for the request — which is always a concern these days.

Can we start a national campaign to stop the use of the F-word in public? Here’s an idea: If you wouldn’t say a certain thing in church, then don’t say it in public. I hope others will agree with this idea, and perhaps the security guards at public events could help out. — Grandma

Dear Grandma: I couldn’t find any data to verify the claim, but I also have noticed more people using the F-word in recent years. It may be because many popular shows are on cable or streaming platforms and therefore not subject to the strict censorship laws that govern network TV, allowing the shows to have a free-for-all with the cussword, which may have trickled down into society. But we can’t just blame TV. In any case, let’s keep it clean, folks.

— — —

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

NEWSLETTER

Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *
   

COMMENTS

[vivafbcomment]

Starting at $3.69/week.

Subscribe Today