Standing in the toilet

When our sons were babies, my wife would take them to the pediatrician for various reasons. While lying naked on the examination table, they would sometimes let loose a stream of urine, which the doctor would fend off with his hand.

As boys get a little older, they might sometimes stand in their backyard and sword fight with their streams of urine. This would bring to an end of the cute phase of urination antics.

During the prankster phase, older boys sometimes eat a lot of asparagus, go to school and pee on the restroom wall. This act of defiance leaves behind a smelly mess for anyone venturing into the restroom.

As young adults, boys sometimes drink so much that in a drunken stupor, they simply urinate on the floor without knowing what they’re doing. Their friends shout at them to stop, tell them they’re pathetic and label them a loser.

Before your wife gets you properly trained in toilet seat etiquette, she has to endure her man’s dribbles all over the toilet seat. After training you to put the seat up, she has to train you to put the seat back down when you’re done. This phase she calls disgusting and often causes anger.

When men mature, it’s easy to fall into the habit of getting up at night to go to the bathroom to empty their bladder. Once you’re awake, all those thoughts about what problems you need to address during the day come flooding into your mind. Then your urination becomes a nuisance to you and your wife, who’s a light sleeper and now she’s awake. Now you have tension in the marriage because no one’s getting adequate sleep and you end up in separate bedrooms.

For many of our mature men, prostate problems become inevitable and urination becomes difficult. We end up taking medication just to pee normally. This phase of difficulty becomes the normal to some men and is unwelcome but acceptable as our bodies continue to age.

At the final stage of our life, men sometimes end up wearing adult diapers because they can no longer control their bladders. This becomes a matter of convenience and sometimes a sad commentary on the quality of our lives.

Someone, at some time made up the statement that Nero played his fiddle while Rome burned but I don’t know if that statement is historically correct. I can say with absolute certainty that our leaders in Washington D.C. are having one giant pissing match while our national economic structure burns to the ground. Meanwhile, the citizens of this nation are left standing in the toilet, fending off all the consequences raining down on us from the impasse.

Is this whole exercise in Washington D.C. cute? Is it a prank? Is it pathetic? Is it disgusting? Is it a nuisance? Is it normal? Is it the sad state of what our nation’s government has become, a foul smelling mess? Is this how our great nation ends, flushed down the toilet by those who can’t or won’t control their bladders?

If we can’t somehow find humor in the mess, our government’s self-inflicted death wish which has trapped every citizen, we should all be scared. We are staring at the end of a quality of life many have come to expect from the generous hand of government. The only solution that will control a national debt which is drowning our economy is to stop giving out more money than they take in, it’s that simple. Simple, will no longer fix the problem because we have that huge debt to pay off, as well as pay our obligations.

This puts a hard squeeze on the politicians, because too many of them bought their position with vast amounts of campaign contributions. When people pay to play, they expect generous benefits in return for their contribution. There lies the problem to any solution for our economic meltdown, greed. People would rather destroy the whole system rather than give up what they think is rightfully theirs.

Any lasting solution, begins with accountability for everyone whose hands are dirty with contempt for the well-being of the nation as a whole. Any solution begins with an accountability of those with vast wealth to pay their fair share rather than hide their wealth. Any solution begins with large corporations being accountable for paying taxes on vast profits they hide in loop holes given to them for campaign favors. Any solution begins with cutting back on benefits given a vast array of special interests groups that represents a membership who thinks they deserve more than their fair share. Any solution begins with all those who use and sometimes abuse government entitlements, knowing that tough times are ahead for everyone. Any solution begins with every effort being made by government to stop abuse and fraud which appears to run rampant in the whole system. Any solution begins with establishing some kind of mutual trust between government and those they serve rather than spying on us.

For the last half century people have been so focused over the ‘separation of church and state’ issue, that we never saw it coming. Nero conveniently used the Christian community as a smoke screen and scape goat, as well for his actions.

When you eliminate the absolutes found in the cross and the biblical principles this nation was built on, you’re left with an empty shell. Power abhors a vacuum and the ‘power for sale’ sign has steadily grown larger in Washington D.C., over the last half century.

We now find ourselves standing in the toilet, living in the shadow of a giant neon ‘power for sale’ sign, blocking out the light of truth, while waiting for the flush to come.

Ralph Dotterer Jr. is a life-long Nittany Valley farmer.