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Does the cycle ever stop?

JENNIFER VAOW

Lock Haven

Domestic and sexual violence is a major concern around the world.

Did you know that every nine seconds a woman is assaulted in the U.S.?

Or, that one in four U.S. women will experience violence by a partner at some point in her lifetime?

These statistics give rise to what seems like a never-ending cycle for victims of violence.

Within domestic and/or sexual violence, there is a continuous cycle that seems to never end. The cycle begins with an incident, which may be any type of abuse, whether it is physical, sexual, or emotional.

After the incident, tension begins to build, which may include: the abuser starts to get angry, the victim feels like they are “walking on egg shells,” the tension may become too much, etc.

Making up is the third part of the cycle which may include the abuser apologizing for the abuse, promising it will never happen again, denying the abuse took place, or blaming the victim for the cause of abuse.

The last part of the cycle is called calm. In this phase the abuser may act like the abuse never happened, there may be no physical abuse, promises may be made, or the abuser may give the victim gifts.

After the phase calm, the cycle begins again and continues to cycle.

The victim may feel that the cycle will eventually end after so long, but it does not, normally.

The cycle of domestic and/or sexual violence may never end for the victim.

There are many reasons why an abusive person may decide to batter. Reasons may include: the abuser knows their victim would not tell, the abuser does not think they will be punished if their victim does tell, the abuser may have come from a violent home themselves, or the abuser has minimized the seriousness of the violence.

These reasons all contribute to what seems like a never-ending cycle. It is important to note that although these may be reasons, they do not give the abuser an excuse to batter an individual(s).

If you are experiencing abuse, there are many steps you can take to help increase safety.

For example, you may want to tell someone you trust about the abuse, create a safety plan in case of an emergency and know what you will take with you, think about where you will go and how you may get there, call local law enforcement, or consult the Clinton County Women’s Center (CCWC) at 570-748-9509.

The CCWC can answer any questions regarding domestic or sexual violence or you can simply talk to someone. Remember, all services provided by the CCWC are free and confidential.

(Jennifer Vaow is a Lock Haven University student majoring in psychology and interning at the Clinton County Women’s Center.)

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