Fostering Love
Forsheys are Foster Parents of the YearBy LINDSAY DAVIS — ldavis@lockhaven.com
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At least 10 of those kids returned to the Forshey home for a second or even third stay.
But each child isn’t just a number to the couple. Each is an individual with unique circumstances and his or her own needs and wants. Perhaps that’s why the Forsheys have had so much success with their foster children.
“We can take up to six (children at a time) and we’re kept pretty full,” Barb Forshey said. The couple is currently fostering four children.
“After a while, they become part of your life. There’s always somebody who needs your help,” said Dick Forshey.
Last night, the couple was recognized for putting that philosophy into action over so many years. Clinton County Children and Youth Services honored them as Foster Parents of the Year for the decades of service they’ve provided to the county’s foster children.
Several of those children and many members of the Forshey’s family were on hand last night to see the couple honored.
Clinton County Foster Parents Coordinator Jackie Hoy presented the Forsheys with an engraved clock. She said a plaque will hang in the Garden Building adding the couple to the list of Foster Parents of the Year.
Clinton County’s two judges — J. Michael Williamson and Craig Miller — were also at the banquet, along with county Commissioners Adam Coleman and Joel Long, who mentioned he is the product of a foster home.
It was May 9, 1986 when the Forshey foster home was opened and on Aug. 15 that year the couple became foster parents for the first time.
And so the story begins.
Dick said his job as a state police officer is what inspired him.
“He just came home from work one day and said, ‘I think we should become foster parents,’” Barb said.
“I was opposed to it in the beginning because you get attached to these kids and then you have to send them back,” she continued.
For that reason, Barb was at first determined to only get involved to a certain extent. The couple soon adopted two of their foster daughters, and Barb decided they would quit when the girls graduated from high school.
“Then, as that time approached, I couldn’t do it. I thought, ‘I can’t give this up. Those kids need me,’” said Barb.
Even today, the Forsheys are still fiercely attached to their charges.
“We have a boy right now who is like one of our own. He has two years left in school. We can’t abandon him now,” Barb said.
That boy, 17-year-old Jeffery Richards, is one of the couple’s many success stories.
Richards read a special message to the Forsheys last night. It was an essay he wrote about “What Family Means to Me,” that won him first place in an essay contest sponsored by Three Rivers Adoption Agency and Pennsylvania State Resource Family Association. He was honored earlier this week in Harrisburg.
Another is Kayla, a girl the Forsheys welcomed into their home when she was 2 and adopted when she was 6.
“The struggles in that period of time were unbelievable. But you wouldn’t know it now. She’s 19 and a freshman at Penn State Altoona,” Barb said.
Kayla said last night she is “blessed to be in this family.”
Another foster child who the Forsheys are very proud of is Paul Toner, who is now married after four years of service with the U.S. Navy.
“He wasn’t there with us for very long, but it doesn’t seem to matter how long they (foster children) stay. He came in a very troubled teen and just became very successful,” said Barb.
“We consider him a son and his wife a daughter-in-law. He’s just a gem,” she added.
Toner said last night he credits the Forsheys with making him what he is today.
On top of helping so many children turn into productive and well-balanced adults, Barb and Dick have also become leaders in the local foster community. Barb has been president of the Clinton County Resource Family Association, formerly known as Clinton County Foster Parent Association, for at least 10 years — she said she hasn’t really kept track. The association won the top award in the state for a resource family association in 2005, under her guidance as president.
Dick initiated a major fundraiser for the CCRFA, an annual state police golf outing every September. This year’s tournament will be the 17th.
Dick retired from the force almost 11 years ago, but he certainly hasn’t slowed down. His approach with the kids is to lead by example.
“I like showing them how a family should function,” he said. “I like to make them a part of the family, take them places and do things with them.”
The Forsheys encourage the children they foster to not only be active within the family atmosphere, but to get involved in school and community activities as well.
“And we participate with them,” said Barb. It’s all part of the couple’s desire to show the kids they are loved and appreciated.
“Many kids come in with low self-esteem. But once you take an interest in them and show them you care, you can actually see the changes. It can be as simple as taking the time to sit with them or taking a ride in the car,” Barb said.
Of course, the Forsheys have seen their share of bumpy roads, too. Two of the biggest issues they have to deal with are lying and stealing.
“Some don’t know the difference, they don’t know when they’re telling the truth or lying, because it’s been a way of life for them,” said Barb.
“We try to impress upon them they’re not going to get into as much trouble if they tell the truth. That’s a big point I try to drive home, especially with the smaller kids.”
The Forshey’s son also had some difficulties in living with his foster siblings, but it was pretty much smooth sailing for the first several years. He was 6 or 7 when the foster children first arrived, and Barb said he didn’t have any problems until he was a teenager.
“He’ll tell you today the stealing bothered him the most. It also upset him to see them disrespect us. He never minded sharing a room or anything like that, though,” Barb said.
“It was a big challenge to balance it all, but I think we’ve done alright so far.”
