×

Scott Baker’s Walkin’ The Sidelines: Lessons Learned

Hitting homeruns is a skill.

Some get paid a lot of money for having that skill. They’re professionals. However, growing up, I remember very clearly kids getting paid by their parents and grandparents for hitting homeruns. That was other kids. Not me. I had mean parents.

Ok, so I thought.

I knew better though. I remember asking my dad how much I would get for hitting a homerun. The answer hit me hard: nothing.

Ouch dad, nothing?

Yep, not a single penny would be sent my way for hitting a homerun or anything else I did in sports.

No hitters?

Nothing.

Touchdowns?

Nothing.

Heck, I don’t even think I got ice cream after a swat or solid game on the mound. Thanks, dad. No seriously, thanks dad!

Why am I thanking him for nothing?

Well, because by refusing to pay me for hitting homeruns or any other athletic accomplishment, he taught me most of what I needed to know in order to play and coach multiple sports. You see, my dad taught me to play for the love of the game. While I certainly could have used or wasted a few extra bucks for the few swats that I had, I benefitted greatly by not getting them.

Instead, I really did learn that I was playing the game for my team and myself, and not for my parents or a few dollars that they could throw my way for doing something that I was supposed to do while playing a game anyway.

I learned from my dad many things about sports. I also learned that he would be there to work with me when I wanted to do so. He pushed me, yet didn’t attempt to relive his glory days through me.

I recall many hours of pitching to him while he was crouched in a catcher’s stance. I remember the many fly balls that he threw or hit to me. I remember the lessons he taught me, and I remember the discipline I got when I needed it. Yep, I did need it. All kids need it.

I didn’t need it often because I knew. I knew how to behave because I knew there would be consequences if I didn’t. So when I became a parent, the roles were reversed. I was armed with the knowledge of how to teach my own son and daughter how to play for the love of the game.

So when my son asked me what he would get for hitting home runs much like some of the other kids, it was time for me to teach him a cold hard fact. He was informed that he too had a mean parent. It was genetic. I couldn’t help it. I learned it from my dad.

He was informed that he would get no compensation for playing a game and doing what he should be doing while playing. He was informed that he would not be receiving compensation for playing a game.

He was educated on the fact that is what happens when you become a professional. I was a mean dad. Oh don’t panic, I fed my son, clothed him, and cared and continue to care for his needs and most wants. I just didn’t pay him for playing a game.

Sounds like my dad.

I don’t know what my son thought at the time, but I do know that he handled it well. He just went out, played the game and seemingly had fun doing it. It did not matter if it was basketball, baseball or soccer. He knew that there would be no monetary compensation.

What I did teach him though was that I would be there for him, just like my dad was for me, not sometimes but always.

Well, almost always.

He learned from a young age that I would be there for him when he wanted to play and I would be there for him when he wanted to work out.

Most importantly what he learned was that there would be a distinction between the two. Playing and working out are two different things. He learned that very quickly.

I recall one summer day when he asked me to go out to the driveway and workout for basketball. Of course, I was willing. We went out, he began to fool around, and I told him I was going into the house as I had other things to do at the time.

Was I being a mean parent?

Some certainly would say I was.

However, what I was doing was teaching him the difference between playing and working out. I must admit today that I didn’t really know that was what I was doing at the time though. He had told me he wanted to work out. That’s what I expected to help him do. He obviously intended to play. That’s fine, but that’s not what he told me we were going to be doing.

That particular day, I recall him following me into the house and asking why I wasn’t going to be out in the driveway playing with him. I told him why. He understood. We went back outside and had a good workout. That lesson did not need much repetition over the years in order to become a habit.

What my son learned was how to work. More importantly, he learned how to work hard. Now, you might be thinking that I’m patting myself on the back for a job well done — on the contrary.

What I am doing is thanking my son for being all that a father could ask for. He listened. He learned. He honored me and continues to honor me with his actions.

So on this Fathers Day, I’m thankful for having a dad that taught me lessons in sports and in life. I’m also thankful for a son who has made me very proud through his work and actions.

I’m now separated from my dad by 600 miles of concrete and asphalt, and my son by two and a half hours of driving time while he’s at school. However, while the lessons among us are less frequent, they still occur.

Now I’m faced with stepping up my game for my daughter.

Does she know that she will not be paid for any athletic accomplishments?

She does.

What I’m working on now is helping her to understand that I will always be willing to help her to succeed. I will challenge her. I will support her. I will provide discipline as necessary and appropriate. I will be friendly and I will be her parent. However, I will not be her friend. She has enough of those.

What she needs is for me to be a dad. What she also needs is for me to provide lessons when appropriate to do so. That’s on me. That’s what I signed up for.

Ultimately though, this is not just about my family. I use these stories simply to explain how sports were able to shape and impact our relationships, and hopefully get others to consider how they might have or could impact theirs as well.

So yes, as we take time this Father’s Day to recognize the work done and lessons taught by so many good fathers, we must also recognize the kids that have listened and learned to honor their father’s actions and deeds. Yes, those of us who have been graced by good fathers should be thankful.

Likewise, those of us who’ve been blessed with kids who have watched, listened and learned should express our appreciation and love to our own kids.

Finally, my challenge would be to those who have perhaps not been as successful as they would like in being the father that they desire to be, today is the day to start.

Start now. Your efforts will be worth it.

As for the kids, you want to honor your father?

Do it through your actions everyday, not by what you say to them or give them on this day.

Happy Father’s Day!

NEWSLETTER

Today's breaking news and more in your inbox

I'm interested in (please check all that apply)
Are you a paying subscriber to the newspaper? *
   

Starting at $3.69/week.

Subscribe Today