I watched the movie “Cats” (2019).

It was a fateful weekend night when I decided to rent this wild ride of a film and I have to say I have never felt such a wide range of emotions … most of them negative.

I’m usually a musical-turned-movie fan and just a musical fan in general. I can even remember watching a live recording of the original Broadway production when I was 12. Actually, when I heard the opening number as the film set the stage I was thrown back into the music classroom at Jersey Shore Middle School where I’d watched it.

But I didn’t have nearly as visceral of a reaction to this movie as I did then.

Laura Jameson

It’s one thing to watch people dressed up in tights and make up to look like cats. It’s a whole other beast to watch CGI cat-people hybrids.

From the opening number my face was stuck in a permanent look of confusion as the “cats” danced about singing about being Jellical cats. All while the protagonist Victoria (Francesca Hayward) just watched in wonder. I didn’t fully understand the premise of the movie but from what I could tell Victoria was abandoned by someone in an alley (a terrible act, that person should be ashamed of themselves) and stumbled upon the Jellical cats. I still don’t understand what a Jellical cat is but I think it’s similar to a gang almost.

Anyway, during the first number Munkustrap (what a name right?) tells Victoria about the Jellical Choice where one of the cats is chosen to ascend to the Heaviside Layer where they’re reborn into a new life. Sounds like the type of thing I’d avoid just by the shear ominous nature of it.

After the song is over Munkustrap introduces Victoria to house cat Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson) who is vying for choice Jellical cat.

As Jennyanydots begins to sing about keeping the house mice and cockroaches busy here’s where things get really weird.

The mice are CGI children and the cockroaches are also very tiny CGI women. And not realistic looking CGI mice that would make you believe they’re real. No, just like the cats you can clearly see they are children and that the cockroaches are women.

That makes it even more weird when Jennyanydots eats, yes you read that write, EATS some of the cockroaches.

At this point of the movie I debated just saying “nope” and getting out. But it had sucked me in and I needed to see where it went from there.

That’s when we’re introduced to Rum Tum Tugger (Jason Derulo) who sings about his indecisive nature all while the female cats swoon over him. I’d like to make note during this part that for some reason Rum Tum is wearing a fur coat … it would seem normal except he, you know, is a cat with fur. That’s one of many outfit choices in this movie that makes me question what I’m looking at. At one point I noticed two cats are wearing Converse style shoes, and another wears a pair of red overalls.

At one point during Rum Tum’s song, I can’t remember if it was before or after, another cat Macavity (Idris Elba) uses magic to snatch away Jennyanydots, turning her to dust.

Magic cats.

On top of the CGI and singing there is also a magic wielding evil cat dusting other cats like I’m watching “Avengers: Infinity War.”

This happens again later when fat cat Bustopher Jones (James Corden) is snatched away by Macavity following his own number “Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town.”

There are a few more musical numbers where you learn that Grizabella (Jennifer Hudson) is apparently hated by all the other cats for reasons I didn’t actually get while I watched. I researched it later and learned that she had left the other cats years ago to live another life-not the Jellical choice one I guess-and was shunned upon her return.

Personally I felt the rejection was pretty rude considering they all were vying for a chance to have a better life too.

Funny enough the most hated cat in the musical sings the most iconic song, “Memory.”

Grizabella sings this song twice during the film, once in the middle when she rushes away from the Jellicals after attempting to mirror their dance moves during Old Deuteronomy, then again at the end while pleading to the other cats for understanding and acceptance.

I’ll admit to you guys, I actually didn’t make it to the end because after Old Deuteronomy my senses were overwhelmed with the sheer oddness of it all. I legitimately had a feeling of unease in my stomach from having made it as far as I did.

I did go back and listen to the soundtrack on Spotify though to get a little more of an understanding of the film without the visuals to scare me away.

The music itself is very well done and I thoroughly enjoy Jennifer Hudson’s rendition of Memory and Francesca Hayward’s solo Beautiful Ghosts. But overall I wouldn’t recommend this movie.

I commend the cast and crew for the hard work they put into the film but I think a full CGI version with realistic looking cats-just cats, no human features at all-would have been better received. The 20 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes gives me the feeling I’m right.

I won’t tell you all to avoid the movie at all costs because I’m sure there are those who would enjoy it. But if you’re a casual musical fan like me, maybe avoid it. Maybe just listen to the soundtrack. I wish that’s all I’d done.

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Laura Jameson is a staff reporter at The Express.