The State of the Union Address



“I inherited a mess. Only I could fix it. And I did.”

The sun shines brighter today than during the previous administration.

The sky is bluer than anytime in history.

The grass is greener here than anywhere else in the world.

Sunsets are more beautiful than at any other time in the last 50 years.

Sunrise is more dependable.

Computers have more byte.

Laundry is cleaner.

Sundaes taste better.

Peanut butter is creamier.

Steaks are more tender.

Pizzas are crisper.

Wheels are rounder.

Yardsticks are straighter.

Water is wetter.

Martinis are dryer.

And above all, Big Macs are juicier.

And liars lie more boldly and strongly.

We’re back, America

America is great again.

And our greatest years are still ahead of us.

Let’s see what happens.


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