Coaches play favorites.

Yep, that’s right– the secret’s out.

Coaches have favorites and they play them. I was a coach (and again) and I played my favorites.

Yep, I can’t hide it. The critics were right. I did indeed have favorites and I played them…a lot.

In fact, every coach I know plays his or her favorites a lot. Why would they do this? How is it fair to the other players on the team?

Well, you see we need to look at why coaches have favorites and why they play them.

Now, I know that the skeptics will say that the favorites of most coaches meet one of the these criteria: they are the ones who kiss-up to the coach, their parents kiss-up to the coach, their parents are big-time booster club reps, they have the right name, their older sibling was good, their parent is connected, and oh yeah, their parent is a coach.

The list could easily go on, but let’s consider why favorites are just that…favorites.

Personally, I admit wholeheartedly that I had favorites. I played my favorites each and every year. When I ask other coaches, they admit to playing their favorites.

Now playing favorites comes with a price. Coaches are criticized mightily for playing their favorites. Why? Because the vast majority of people outside of the coaching world do not understand how a coach determines who their favorites are.

Clearly, coaches have different criteria for determining whom their favorites are than what was outlined above.

You see, coaches like players that are committed.

Coaches like players that are hardworking.

Coaches like players who put the team first.

Coaches like players who are coachable.

Coaches like players who are talented.

Yes, talent does matter. However, while talent is important, I will say that most coaches believe that it is not quite as important as the preceding criteria.

Sometimes players can be very talented but they are lacking in numerous areas that coaches greatly value.

Coaches want players who will do all of the things that will help their team win. They will work hard in practice. They will commit to the team. They will be coachable.

They will often be the first to practice and the last to leave. They will have the coach’s back. The return is that he or she will likely have their back as well.

You see, coaches want to win. It is true that in the world of youth through high school sports that winning is not everything.

It shouldn’t be.

And it certainly wasn’t for me. However, coaches want to win…plain and simple. They want to win.

Think about it.

Why would the scoreboard be turned on if winning didn’t matter? Why are coaches criticized and sometimes fired because of losing?

Obviously, winning matters.

What can coaches do to give their team the best chance to win? Play their favorites. The best players, the most committed players, the hardest working players, and sometimes the most talented players. The players that give them the best chance to win. Period.

Now, the good news here is that every player has the ability to be a favorite of his or her coach.

No, they do not need to have the right name, a sibling that was good, or a parent that is connected. Rather, it is very possible that they can become their coach’s favorite by working hard, being committed to the team, being coachable, having the coaches back, and putting their team first.

Yes, coaches want to win. Regardless of your name, if you can help them to do that, they will find you to be beneficial to their cause. Therefore, it is important to note that as an individual player, each athlete does in fact have the ability to decide whether or not their coach will play them. They will be able to decide whether or not their coach will find them to be his or her favorites.

I can assure you that as a coach, if you could help me win, I would play you. That is assuming that you did all of the things that I expected of one of my favorite players.

My advice to players is this: Make your coach play you.

No, not by complaining until he or she does so but rather because you deserve to play. Make it obvious. Don’t put the burden on the coach to have to find reasons why he or she should play you. Rather, make it impossible for them not to play you because of what you bring to the team.

To parents, I say push your kids to be the best that they desire to be. Help them to understand that coaches want to win and will play them if it will help the team to achieve. Don’t give the player a legitimate ear to gripe to when the coach chooses someone else. Rather, encourage your child to continue to do all of the positive things that will make the coach have to play them.

Simply put, regardless of perception, in 99.9 percent of all playing-time cases, the decision on whether a player gets playing time or not is on the player. What they do and how they do it will earn them the playing time that they say they desire.

Remember, coaches have favorites and they tend most often to play them.

So, be a favorite. The choice to do it is yours.

Don’t blame a coach if they choose otherwise because after all they play their favorites and perhaps someone else had a stronger desire to be a favorite. Find a way to be your coach’s favorite. I will guarantee that once you do so you will no longer believe that being a favorite is something that the coach chooses but rather finds in some players.

You have an opportunity to begin now to work to become a favorite of your coach. Keep in mind that it’s not going to come easy. It’s going to take some convincing.

However, with hard work and a commitment toward what he or she is looking for, it certainly can be achieved. Get after it. Being a favorite of the coach will be fun. You will get to play.

However, make no mistake that once you become one of your coach’s favorites, more will be asked of you. So, be ready. Be sure that you are also ready for others to accuse you of being a favorite of the coach. They will say that you are playing only because you are his or her favorite.

The difference now will be that you will know clearly why you are a favorite and can explain how it all happened and perhaps they too can find a way to become a favorite as well.

When a coach ends up with a team full of favorites, the results are often very positive.

So get out there and get after it.