Dear Annie: I had a seven-year relationship with a man who I thought was the love of my life. I had been married twice before — once for 17 years — to an alcoholic, and I was in a 10-year relationship with a man 15 years older than me.

I have one daughter, who is now 40, and he has a daughter with whom he is estranged. She is 43. He has been married three times, the longest for seven years, with one marriage lasting for only a month.

I received a phone call about 10 months ago from an old boyfriend with whom I have remained friendly but with whom I ended a physical relationship when I met “Mr. Seven Years.” When the phone call came over my Bluetooth car connection, I did not answer. The next day, while I was out with my mother for a hair appointment, “Mr. Seven” packed up the things from his visit and left without a word. Never heard from him again.

My home is on the West Coast, and he has a home in a neighboring state. Our plan had been to travel back and forth between our homes about once a quarter, as I had just retired. He had forgotten some shirts and his favorite bed pillow, which I packed up and sent to him with a heartfelt letter, telling him that I loved him and that I had never been unfaithful. No response.

Now, after almost 10 months of no contact, I received a box while I was in Europe traveling on a retirement celebration trip. I opened it now that I am back home, not knowing who it was from, and lo and behold, it was every personal gift that I had given him over the last few years, including a watch and a shirt and some paintings that I had done at his request. There was no note or letter in the box.

A few years ago, he did something similar to his daughter, where he shipped every photo that he had taken of her in a box with no note. She hasn’t spoken to him since. He would ruminate on this perceived hurt, that she never responded, but I felt that it was an aggressive and hurtful thing to do, as I believe this is.

I feel like, on the one hand, I should respond with an email, telling him that his actions were hurtful and mean spirited. On the other hand, why give him the satisfaction of knowing that he hurt me? I wish he had just thrown it all away rather than spend the time and the energy to ship it to me.

Now I am having trouble getting this out of my mind and am wondering just what he hoped to accomplish by sending this stuff back. What are your thoughts? Should I respond or ignore and move on? Send the stuff back and tell him to throw it away? — Confused on the West Coast

Dear Confused on the West Coast: Instead of being confused, I would feel more relieved to be out of a relationship with him. His actions are so cold and unemotional. It’s one thing to be a total louse to your girlfriend, but to do that to your daughter is awful! Right then and there were the red flags that this guy has serious problems. Run a hundred miles from this guy.

I really feel for the daughter more than you. You can get a new boyfriend or husband and eventually feel the love from a loving and more considerate relationship. But his poor daughter only gets one dad, and he is a terrible one.

As for what to do with the “stuff,” do what makes you feel as far finished with him as possible. The only contact I might have with him is to point out how cold and cruel he was to his daughter and how now he is doing the same thing to you, but don’t allow him to bring you back into his life. You are very fortunate –good riddance.