Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We’ve always had a solid partnership with no major issues. But lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m just a supporting character in his life.

He recently started a new job that he’s passionate about, and while I’m happy for him, everything seems to revolve around his schedule, his goals, his stress. I work full-time, too, and we have two kids, but somehow I’ve become the default parent and household manager while he gets to “focus.”

When I try to bring it up, he says he’s just “under a lot of pressure” and that it’s temporary. But it’s been almost a year. I don’t want to keep score, but I also have goals of my own that I feel like I’m sacrificing so he can pursue his.

How do I bring this up again in a way that doesn’t come off as resentful? — Fading Into the Background

Dear Fading: Your letter doesn’t sound resentful — so just explain it to him the way you explained it to me.

If you find yourself falling into the role of household manager by default, you might consider a concrete division of labor. Map out a schedule together of who takes on what chores, and make sure you both build in enough time to pursue your own projects, too.

Dear Annie: My husband and I have kids and live what I truly feel is a blessed life. My husband works for his family’s business, which often includes his dad, brother, cousins and brothers-in-law as co-workers. Even some of my relatives have worked for him at times.

As I said, we live a great, blessed life. We’re able to go on vacation and out to eat every weekend. The problem is, his family has made comments about it. They’ll say things like, “Wow, you’re going out to eat again?” or “Must be nice to take a trip like that,” or “You guys got a new car? New clothes?” I haven’t said anything, but now my husband is noticing it, too.

The other kids have even started chiming in, saying things like, “I would love to go out to eat and visit places like you guys do.” It’s gotten to the point that I want to say, “Your parents make the same money we do. I don’t know what they’re spending it on, but we pay our bills and enjoy what’s left.”

What should I do? It’s becoming really annoying every time it happens. — Blessed but Bothered

Dear Blessed: You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you spend your money, especially when you’re living within your means and making responsible choices. The fact that the younger kids are now repeating these remarks makes it even harder, comparing how you and your husband prioritize your money versus their own parents.

The next time it comes up, just smile and say, “We feel really grateful for what we have.” Then change the subject. If the comments continue, your husband may need to step in and make it clear to his family that the ins and outs of your finances aren’t up for discussion.