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How to keep loving America — even when it hurts

Columns

The approach of July 4 is making my heart hurt. Love of this country is deep-dyed in my soul, but pondering how or even whether to celebrate the semiquincentennial provokes a riot of mixed feelings. The right — and not just the MAGA right — responds to any queasiness about this particular anniversary with knee-jerk vituperation. Matthew Hennessey, writing in the Wall Street Journal, offered a typical example of this Pavlovian response this week when he accused Robert De Niro of “hating America.” What had the actor done to deserve this verdict? Well, he attempted to provide ...

Dear Annie: Embracing carpe diem

Columns

Dear Annie: I have been with “Garrett” for over four years now. I have a son who is 9, and we share a daughter, 3. I was a single mom for four years before I met Garrett, so I did everything on my own. Garrett is always willing to make my lunch for work, clean after I get home from work, do laundry, etc. so I can relax. My problem is I tend to say no. I’ll do it myself, and then I become overwhelmed trying to do everything. I know I’m being resistant, but I feel as a mom, it’s my sole responsibility to do so. How do I loosen up and let him help me out more without feeling ...

‘Childhood Interrupted’: What enslaved children teach us about America today

Columns

An elementary school in Louisville, Kentucky, sits on land that was once the Farmington hemp plantation. That fact gutted me as I stood before “Childhood Interrupted,” an art installation depicting enslaved children on the lawn of the historic home. My son attends this elementary school which is now embedded in a neighborhood just one long driveway away from the truth of its plantation past. He learns, thrives and feels like he belongs in a space where enslaved children were once forced to work — enslaved children who would have certainly preferred my son’s experience of this ...

Dear Annie: Career crises and workplace anxieties

Columns

Dear Annie: I’m feeling torn between pursuing my dream and maintaining my financial stability. I have a job as an accountant making six figures, but it’s boring work — so boring that I dread getting out of bed every morning. The days go by slowly, and I find myself living for the weekend. On the other hand, I’ve had a passion for photography since I was a kid. Recently, I’ve started to do some freelance work on the side, just for fun, but the money isn’t great because I don’t have a lot of time to devote to it. I understand the importance of financial security, but I ...

Why fatherhood matters more than ever before

Columns

Long gone are the days of the distant dad. According to some estimates, the average time dads spend caring for their kids each day has quadrupled over the past 50 years. Their attitudes about parenting are also changing. Today, men are about as likely as mothers to say parenting is a key source of meaning and a central priority in their lives. Roughly 85% of fathers identify parenthood as one of the most important aspects of their identity. As a parenting researcher who focuses on fathers, I’m pleased to see that dads are so invested in their kids. It correlates with better ...

Flustered by funeral flowers

Columns

Dear Annie: I’ve been friends with “Jessie” for several years, but lately, I’ve been feeling like the friendship is one-sided. I’m always the one reaching out, making plans and putting in the effort. Jessie has been responding to my texts with one-word answers, if at all. I value our friendship a lot, but I’m starting to question whether she feels the same way. How can I address this issue without seeming needy? Should I confront her or let it go and just hope it changes back to what it was like before? Any guidance would be appreciated. — Friendship on Uneven ...