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Dear Annie: Waiting for a commitment that may never come

Columns

Dear Annie: My best friend of 22 years recently started dating a man who “doesn’t believe in marriage.” She’s 41, has always wanted children and froze her eggs at 38. He’s 45, divorced twice and says labels are “a social construct.” They’ve been together eight months. She sold her condo and moved into his house — which is solely in his name — and now refers to his teenage sons as “our boys.” Last week, she told me she’s sure he’ll “come around” on having a baby. I’m skeptical she’ll get everything she wants out of this relationship — and the ...

Is the American Empire doomed to crumble?

Columns

History does not whisper. It warns. Empires do not collapse because of a single moment of weakness. They erode from within, slowly hollowed out by overreach, moral ambiguity and the false belief that their power exempts them from consequence. The question before us is not whether America is strong. It is whether we are wise enough to endure the burden that comes with being the world’s lone superpower. Scores of empires have come before us. Each one believed itself indispensable. Each one believed its reach was justified. And each one eventually fell, often not at the hands of ...

War and morality

Columns

War is the most horrific series of events upon which any government can engage. It is systematic, industrialized, indiscriminate killing. It kills innocent adults and little girls. It often ruins the post-war lives of the killers. It is young men violently fighting old men’s power games. It is the health of the state. The war President Donald Trump is waging against the people and the government of Iran is immoral, unconstitutional and unlawful. Yet, because Congress is not doing its job, there appears to be no relief in sight until Trump finds a face-saving way to erase his grave ...

Providing insight into heart rate variability and its significance

Columns

DEAR DR. ROACH: My heart rate variability (HRV) on my heart rate tracker has ranged from 12-14 ms for years now. I read that this means something is going on inside me. Do you have any insight into HRV? I’m a 64-year-old male who is in decent health. My Lipoprotein(a) level is 224 mg/dL, but my other heart tests are OK. I play pickleball often, walk a lot, and go to the gym once a week. My heart rate is in the 40s when I’m sleeping and in the 50s when I’m resting. I’m 5 feet, 11 inches tall and weigh 170 pounds. — J.N.J. ANSWER: HRV is a measurement of how steady the heart ...

The art of taxing fairly is messy

Columns

“The rich should pay their fair share of taxes.” Who can argue with that? But then we must decide who is rich and what is meant by fair. Neither political party has distinguished itself in making such distinctions. But Republicans play an especially outrageous game in portraying the Internal Revenue Service as the working stiff’s enemy. For salaried workers, taxes come straight out of paychecks, meaning most are already paying what they owe. Owners of small businesses have more deductions at their disposal, but the neighborhood bakery that tries to follow the rules doesn’t ...

Dear Annie: A big birthday with an even bigger price tag

Columns

Dear Annie: My younger sister is turning 30 and has planned a birthday dinner at a trendy rooftop restaurant where the tasting menu is $165 per person — not including drinks, tax or tip. She also wants us to split the cost of a professional photographer “to capture the moment for all of us.” I want to celebrate, and the dinner does sound fun. But I just had to replace my transmission and pay an almost $2,000 dental bill. I’m in penny-pinching mode, and I think a home-cooked dinner or a less-trendy restaurant would be just as fun. I told my sister I might skip the dinner and ...