PHOTO PROVIDED Christopher Atkins and Kristy McNichols as Frederic and Mabel during the closing number of “The Pirate Movie.”

I wasn’t entirely sure what movie I’d review this week until my sister reminded me of this gem.

“The Pirate Movie” came out in 1982 and is one of the oddest musicals I think I’ve ever watched (2019 “Cats” excluded).

This movie managed to stuff a bunch of 80s stereotypes, musical and dance numbers, comedy, a wild dream world and romance into over an hour and a half. My sister and I remember this movie from childhood thanks to my Mom.

Anytime “The Pirate Movie” was on TV she had to watch. I’m not sure why exactly and maybe if she reads this she can explain… because I really do need an explanation.

The movie takes place in a small seaside town in Australia where shy teenager Mabel Stanley (Kristy McNichol) is living as an American exchange student. I have to note that you wouldn’t know any of this from just watching it… I learned this backstory on Wikipedia.

Mabel and her “sisters” attend a pirate festival where she meets a young sword instructor (Christopher Atkins) she is immediately smitten for.

The instructor invites Mabel and the other girls for a ride on his boat. Of course the girls trick Mabel into missing the launch leaving her stranded on shore.

She rents a small boat and attempts to reach them when she’s thrown into the ocean and washes up on a beach somewhere.

This is where things get interesting. The bulk of this movie takes place in a dream world of Mabel’s own making.

Suddenly it’s the 1880s and pirates are singing about how much they love being pirates (go figure).

All the main characters in the film, people Mabel met before washing ashore, are now new characters. The sword instructor is now Frederic, a freshly turned 21-year-old pirate apprentice, who was taken from his family by the Pirate King (Ted Hamilton) and raised by the crew.

Meanwhile Mabel is the youngest daughter of Major-General Stanley. Unlike in real life, this Mabel is a headstrong and quick witted woman while her sisters (the same girls that abandoned her in her real life) are less so.

Mabel and Frederic first meet on the beach after the former pirate refused the Pirate King’s invitation to become a full fledge pirate (who knew you had to be 21 to do that too).

The moment they meet is probably the most 80s moment I’ve ever seen. The two sing passionately to each other as they slow motion walk across a beach toward each other. It’s got yearning, a montage of them riding horseback through the waves (don’t ask me… I don’t know) and even that weird moment where they’re faces are faded into the background of the ocean as they sing.

I know I didn’t describe that well enough so if you have a chance look it up on YouTube, it’s called “First Love.”

After that one song the two decide they want to get married. This may be going too far but I think even Disney romances are more well thought out than this.

Anyway things just get even more insane from there as the Pirate King and his group roll into town and attempt to kidnap Mabel’s sisters.

Throughout the movie Mabel and Frederic attempt to do everything to earn her father’s approval and get rid of the Pirate King and his crew.

This movie is so bad I swear it’s good. The best part about it is that it doesn’t take itself very seriously. There are many jokes, both appropriate and not so much, references to blockbuster films like Star Wars and Indiana Jones and pretty great musical numbers.

Obviously this movie wasn’t winning any awards back when it was released given just how crazy it was. I’d compare it to the spoof style movies that were really popular in the 2000s like “Scary Movie.” It was loosely based on the comic opera “The Pirates of Penzance” and definitely let itself enjoy creative liberties.

This movie was so unliked that no typical streaming site, not even rental places, offer it. But it was pirated (oh the irony) and posted on YouTube eight years ago. Apparently the copyright is out on it too because it doesn’t seem like it’s going anywhere either.

So if you have access to YouTube go ahead and look it up and see what you think. Maybe it’s just the nostalgia due to watching it when I was a kid (thanks Mom) or I’m just really into bad movies… either way I’d recommend watching it at least once.

It’s rated PG but by 80s standards so take that information as you will.

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Laura Jameson is a staff reporter for The Express.