Not long ago while scrolling through social media, I saw two things that made me pause and begin thinking about good sports parenting and parents in general, as well as the flip side of the coin, bad sports parenting and parents in general.

The first thing that I saw was a post from a mother that had posted a picture of her young son on the baseball field and her comment was simply that it wasn’t the best of games for her son, but they sure do love watching him play. I loved two things about that post.

First, that she acknowledged that her son had not had the best of games, yet she didn’t dwell on it and second, she acknowledged that she just loved watching him play a sport that he enjoys so much. That is the way it should be. A kid playing a youth sport and having fun with the parent(s) and other adults enjoying watching them play. More on that to come.

The second thing that I saw on social media was a post that was directed at parents as it stated, ‘There is only one person who can make your kid a better athlete and that person is your kid.’ Oh, how I loved that. I’m a firm believer that parents must support their kids if they are to become successful athletes.

However, the type of support that is given is where much attention must be placed and caution advised. Youth sports serve as a very valuable training ground.

As such, young athletes will learn very valuable lessons that will serve them well throughout life. Those lessons could be good ones but sadly they could be bad ones as well.

Adults play the biggest roles in whether young athletes will be able to look upon their years in youth sports as very positive or negative experiences. If done correctly, youth sports should generate positive experiences for all participants even if some of those participants have some negative experiences along the way. In other words, not everything that happens in youth sports will always be sunshine and butterflies.

We should not attempt to make it that way either because the world doesn’t function that way. However, what will matter the most is that the adults involved in those youth sports will guide the youth toward turning the negative experiences that they have into positives that can be used as beneficial lessons for life.

As I sit and think back upon my days in youth sports, I remember many things. Some of those things are good while others maybe were not. However, regardless of the good and the bad, youth sports were invaluable in helping me to become the adult that I have developed into.

Why have I been able to look back upon my youth sports experiences so fondly despite the fact that I did have some negative situations occur along the way? Easy. The adults involved helped me to handle both my successes as well as failures along the way. They taught me to be humble in success and to use failure as a motivator.

That’s what good parents will do. That’s what good coaches will do. Far too often today, we witness and hear about parents and coaches who are attempting to live their youth again through their kids’ involvement in sports.

Parents, if you are doing this, stop. Now.

As hard as it is to accept, your days have passed. It’s your kids turn now. Support them. Teach them to be humble when they succeed and teach them how to use failure as a motivator to get better when that is what is needed. Coaches, if you are coaching for any other reason than for your players to become better people through playing a game, stop and think carefully about your purpose.

Youth and high school sports have numerous purposes, but we would all be wise to remember and accept that winning championships and driving kids toward college scholarships is not, or at least should not be, exceptionally high on the list. What is, or should be, high on the list are the things that can help kids become better people who will be adept at functioning successfully in life.

After all, there is a reason why sports are referred to as extra-curricula. That is because they are one part of the educational process. We must remember that some students will learn quickly while for others it will take time.

However, if we as adults use sports as an educational tool, all students are likely to learn something from their experiences that they will be able to look back upon as being foundational to their development as adults who can then pass on their love of sports to their kids and the cycle of positivity will likely continue. When that happens, we can all be happy with what sports provides individuals and our society.

So, as a new scholastic sports season begins, adults should be reminded that they play a critical role in the sports experiences of their young athlete(s). Sometimes it might be tough, but we must remember that feelings can’t get in the way of doing and saying what is right at the appropriate time. The adults will set the tone for how kids handle the many circumstances that they will face.

It is important that they help to show them how to handle each of those circumstances well. So adults, sit back and enjoy the games. Support when needed, be truthful when asked but most importantly remember that what you’re watching are games that can help to mold your athlete either positively or negatively.

My bet is that regardless of the situation, if the adult acts responsibly, the athlete’s experiences will be positively foundational. That’s the way it was meant to be.